Are you kidding me?
For those of you who do not come from a homosexual background, the title of this article probably seems like a preposterous question to ask. I'm sure that most of you are thinking "there can't possibly be anything good about homosexuality, much less ‘great,' so what's with the title?" Well, in this article I hope to explain as best I can why homosexuality is so alluring, so appealing for those of us who do come from that background, and who live with that orientation as their present day reality. As I begin to explain, please bear with me for a few moments. I promise you that while at first it may seem that I may be leading you down a rabbit hole, I do have a point.
My practical example . . . Stay with me
A study was done in 2006 to determine what drinking one can of Coke does to the body, within 60 minutes of consuming the drink. The study also points out that Coke is not the only culprit, but this process remains the same in any "non-diet" soda. In short, it wreaks havoc on the human organism. The main problem is sugar. . . .
In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don't immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an "insulin burst". Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on, into fat.40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your liver dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.60 Minutes: The caffeine's diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to urinate.) It is now assured that you'll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that were headed to your bones, as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you'll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You've also now, literally, urinated away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth."[i]
Maybe we should pause for a moment, to allow those of us who have soft drinks in our refrigerators, to pour them down the sink! To make matters worse, the study was centered on a regular 591 ml. bottle, not the super sized kind (3 times the volume - yes, that's 30 teaspoons of sugar) that we get at movie theatres or fast food restaurants. Considering the above information; it's almost revolting to consider the persecution our bodily systems are suffering, all while we sit comfortably in our full cushioned, high back reclining chairs, each one providing its own personal cup holder large enough to hold cups the size of buckets. I think next time I go to a movie, I'll just ask for water!
The point is this: while the disturbing details listed above will most likely cause you to think twice the next time you reach for a soft drink, the truth is that we have always known that drinking a bottle of soda is bad for you. You didn't need a study to tell you that. You've always known that this stuff is just a mixture of sugar, coloring and chemicals such as Phosphoric Acid which, by the way, is also tremendous for the removal of rust from the bumper of your car. Of course to help us feel better about what we're throwing down our gullet there are the soda's that advertises that their mixture is laced with "natural flavor." Mmmmm...., now doesn't that sound good?
The really fascinating thing is that even though we have known that these drinks are incredibly unhealthy, most of us still drink them. In fact, I'm sure it's a very safe bet that even though you have now been equipped with this new study, sometime in the near future you'll most likely have another Coke and put your body into shock again. Why? Because on a hot sunny day or while watching something blow up on a gigantic movie screen, there's few things that tastes better than an ice cold Coke! After all, "it's the real thing." Right?
You see, even though cola's aren't good for us, they still quench our thirst, they still meet the need, even if it is only momentarily.
This is why homosexuality is so great
So what's so great about homosexuality? Why so alluring and why so incredibly difficult to turn away from? Because for those who are same gender attracted, it quenches thirst; emotional thirst; even if only momentarily.
We are all familiar with the story of the woman that Jesus met at the well in John 4. This is a story about a lonely and troubled soul who was trying desperately to quench a spiritual and emotional thirst. There was no permanent satisfaction in the multiple relationships she had experienced. In fact, each time a relationship ended, she needed to go and find a new mate, hoping that this next man would fulfill all of her emotional desires. Time and time again, however, she was left sadly disappointed and this is the reason that by the time she encountered Jesus she was into her sixth relationship. Jesus told her that she would never find the fulfillment she so desperately longed for by going to this same old well as she had been doing for years. Only He had the answer, only He had the clean, pure water that would quench these thirsts and heal the brokenness forever.[ii]
It's the only "fix" that worked
My life mirrors that woman's in many ways. Before turning my life over to Jesus, there were few things that I turned to in order to quench my emotional thirsts more than homosexuality. From the tender age of twelve -whenever I felt lonely, afraid, unloved, insignificant or insecure- I learned to turn to homosexuality to meet those very real needs. And it worked. Participating in those actions did leave me feeling satisfied, loved, cared for, accepted and important. It did quench my emotional thirsts, but only momentarily. After a short time, (like the woman at the well), I was always left feeling even thirstier, more empty and alone, and thereby forcing me to involve myself even further in that lifestyle, to quench the emotional thirst yet again. It was a never ending cycle, but I just didn't realize it.
While there were several individuals that I was involved with before becoming a Christian, there was one significant and long lasting "relationship" that started when I was 12 (as shocking as that may seem) and continued into my early 20's. Having grown up in a very unstable and dysfunctional home (with no real direction or example to follow on how to be a young man during these incredibly formative years), I found in this relationship what I thought was the acceptance and love that I craved, but could not find anywhere else. While I knew that what I was doing was wrong, emotionally I was starving, so through my teen years and into my 20's, I kept going back. People who are emotionally starved will do anything to get those very real needs met. As Sy Rogers has been quoted as saying: "bad love is better than no love at all." (Listen to the audio file on this site entitled "Is Your Son a Candidate for Homosexuality; Preventative Measures for Parents.)
Since homosexuality was the only "fix" I had known for so many years, it only made sense to me to continue going to what I was familiar with, and what would always temporarily make me feel better. To me, and too many others, this is what was so great about homosexuality, and why it is so terribly difficult to leave; it takes away the thirst; it fills that emotional longing. In short, it works.
Why does someone get drunk even though they know the next morning they will suffer a terrible hangover? Why does another take drugs to get high when they know in a short time they will crash? Why does someone else spend their paycheck on clothes or high tech gadgets they don't need, when they know that they won't be able to pay the bills next week because of it? Why does another gorge themselves on junk food until they can barely move, even though they know they will regret it the next morning? Because it works; because it quenches the emotional thirst and really does make you feel better; for a time.
The "bottom line" is ugly, but it's the dead honest truth
The bottom line is; I didn't leave homosexuality because it was so terrible. To me at that time in my life; it wasn't. I left homosexuality because I found something better, something that quenches the emotional thirsts forever. As difficult as it is to comprehend for those of you who do not come from this background, homosexuality was "great" because it worked. It did provide what I was looking for. The trouble was that it was never enough. And then, there was my conscience. Having been raised in a setting that taught the Bible, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but after you do something long enough, a guilty conscience is not enough to stop you. I was also a "poster boy" for someone who went to church and was "religious" but did not know Jesus. So homosexuality fixed a problem in my life, and I kept going to it to keep feeling better.
But then like the woman at the well, Jesus entered my life and offered me something that was so much more quenching and satisfying. When I realized that He was offering me water that would gratify my emotional needs in a lasting and eternal way that homosexuality never possibly could, Jesus became the obvious choice, the real thing, the better well to draw my water from, and it is there that I gladly drink from today.
So, how can I help others who have this problem?
As a side note, let me say that trying to convince someone that they need to stop acting out in homosexuality because to you it is disgusting or immoral, does not work. To them it is not disgusting and in fact, is quite the opposite; it answers their "hurts and pains" and provides love, acceptance and companionship. Isn't that what we all want? So why would they quit something that they believe accomplishes so much, just because you disagree with it or would never do it yourself? What you must lovingly and patiently convince them of is that there is something being offered that is even better. You must take the time to patiently and caringly prove to them that the love and acceptance they are thirsting for, will be fully met in Jesus in a way that homosexuality never will.
Let me also say at this point that regardless of what your or my view is on this subject, millions disagree with our stance and unlike the Christian who has "unwanted" same gender attractions, others welcome it. For disciples, the thing that makess it "unwanted" is our conviction that God does not want it in our lives. But for those who do not hold to our Christian sexual ethic, there is no such conviction or conflict. In how to treat those who disagree with us, we are left wtih only one response; the same response Jesus had towards those who disagreed with him; love.
Jesus must be proven to be a much wiser and advantageous option for them to choose, in order to quench their thirsts. Not to mention that Paul says to all Christians "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?" (1 Corinthians 5:12). Yet so many in the church have seen it as their job to judge the very people we need to save, without striving to compassionately understand that homosexuality is no worse than anything that they themselves have sinfully struggled with, to find fulfillment without Jesus.
Let's be honest, aren't we all the same?
In this sense, are we not all the same? Is not every single one of us -without exception- guilty of going to the wrong well to get our needs met? Are we not all responsible of spending years drinking in something that quenched our thirsts for only a short amount of time? Are we not all guilty of buying these counterfeit goods? Whether our issue was with: alcohol, drugs, relationships, overeating, bulimia, sexual addictions, pornography, addictions to work, sleep, internet shopping, gambling, smoking, video games, online games or homosexuality; are we not all the same?
All of us, (along with the woman at the well), need the fresh, clean and pure living water of Jesus. And, until we were presented with that option, every one of us went with what we knew, with what we had learned, with what worked. Even though we all knew that these things were hurting us, we still participated in them because they worked; they quenched our thirsts, if only for a little while. Is there even one of us who are innocent?
This article is not meant to answer the question of causation. That is addressed elsewhere on this site; (listen to the audio lesson entitled "Is Your Son a Candidate for Homosexuality") rather It is meant to provide those of you who do not live with same gender attractions a new perspective, in hopes that it will help you appreciate that regardless of our challenges; "All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:12). It is also written in the hope that you will look at this problem through a new set of lenses, appreciating that the needs are real and that God wants us to lovingly, patiently, tenderly present Jesus to everyone who is homosexual; letting people know there is a much better option available other than homosexuality, so that they will truly never be thirsty again.
[i] Meredith, Wade. "What Happens to Your Body When You Drink a Coke Right Now?" 8 Dec. 2006. Healthbolt. 23 Aug. 2008 <http://www.healthbolt.net/2006/12/08/what-happens-to-your-body-if-you-drink-a-coke-right-now/>.
[ii] "Living Water Part 1." Door of Hope. Setting Captives Free. 21 Aug. 2008 <http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com>.